Carnival - fun
A loving husband
"It’s your birthday coming up and I still don’t have any idea what to buy you. Have you any suggestion?"
"I want a divorce!"
"I’m terribly sorry, dear, but I wasn’t planning on spending that much!"
Dream job
A salesman gives up his job to become a policeman. A few months later a friend asks him how he is getting on. "Great", he replies, "the pay is good, the hours aren’t bad, and the best part is that the customer is always wrong!"
All alone
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island together when they find a magic lantern that grants them each a wish. The Englishman wishes he was back in London and suddenly disappears in a cloud of smoke. The Scotsman wishes he was in Glasgow and also vanishes. The Irishman looks at the lantern sadly and says, "I feel lonely, I wish my friends were back again!"